I know it has been a while without writing anything. I could have actually written something tonight but I preferred to sit with my cousin for a while. somewhere deep in my heart I am actually fed up of my life. I wanted to write how I really feel and most of times there is a fear that drag me down. I wanted to be writer too. although it never works for me.
one reason registering this blog was to improve writing! I am not sure if that is happening, all my time mostly is spending to tutoring because I have to earn money. I took a counseling course and to help people to give counseling , that’s another story. Why am I have a difficulty in writing? Damn it ! seriously damn it ! beside my mother tongue is not English.
I know what ever I want , I cannot be and that’s not a problem. This place actually put me under very stressful level where I just want vanish. Yes , I do feel sad for no matter how hard I try this slow growing life is making me exhausted , tired and regretting for sweet things that I do for happiness. I wish a magic happens and I feel shitty than ever. This reality world is too painful than smiling tomorrow. Blessing are just given to people who are stronger and I have been very strong. Yet, I should be living thinking there are worse people in world and there are people whose wish come true when they are grieve. My thought has flown where I feel nothing . Look at me , I am here.